Updated: Nov 4, 2020
This is my handsome son Nicholas Corwin.
He was an answer to many prayers, Nick joining our family was one of the greatest miracles our family has experienced.
He is our oldest. He was blessed with 5 little sisters. He is an amazing big brother.
His talent amazes me. He could draw a detailed StarWars ship by the time he was four so you can imagine his art today.
He has the biggest heart. He feels things more deeply than anybody I know.
He is fiercely loyal but has a hard time with people who violate his trust.
He is becoming a therapist because of his desire to help others.
He is a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.
He is gay. He is learning how to navigate his faith and his sexuality because he wants to honor both and that path is not always clear, he is figuring it out day by day.
We have great peace that he will figure out this journey and that everything will work out in the Lord's timeline.
The process of me gaining acceptance of this plan gave me a deeper faith in Christ. My heart changed and so did my relationship with my Savior and Heavenly Father.
Nick came out to his family and the world at the age of 15. It was a painful time for him and for us.
Nick had heard stories of other kids coming out so he was afraid we would kick him out of the house. That was never even a thought, we assured him of our love, but it took us some time to process this new reality.
Like most parents, we had a picture in our mind about what Nick's life would be. An expectation of what we thought his future would hold.
We did our best but some mistakes were made. The process of accepting Nick for exactly who he was instead of who we thought he should be, took some time. We caused ourselves unnecessary suffering because of our expectations.
Our pain and mistakes came from thinking something had gone wrong and there was something that needed to be fixed.
We were wrong, Nothing had gone wrong. There was nothing to fix. This was always the plan.
The process of me gaining the acceptance of this plan gave me a deeper faith in Christ. My heart changed and so did my relationship with my Savior and Heavenly Father.
This new relationship and lessons were not easy to earn. They didn't come overnight. I learned that Nick didn't need to change, I did. My heart needed to change and I had to challenge my beliefs of what my role as his mother looked like.
The spirit tutored me. Sometimes I heard quickly but most of the time I was a slow learner. I had to learn grace for myself and for my son.
But when the grace came it forged a deeper love and relationship with my son, greater than I could ever have imagined. The grace taught us to be clear with Nick that he didn't need to be anything different for us to love him completely.
I have learned that I don't have all the answers and having all the answers isn't necessary for me to show up as the mom I want to be. That isn't what love is. Love is seeing someone for exactly who they are and loving that version, not a version we want them to be.
I have complete faith in my son. Faith that Nick will live his life exactly how he needs to and that he will have the strength to learn all the lessons he needs to on this earth.
The privilege of being Nicholas's mom has been one of the greatest gifts that the Lord has given me. It has taught me how to love unconditionally. To love someone for who and where exactly they are.
Are you feeling unconditional love for the people in your life? If you are feeling any worry, resentment, or anger for someone in your life then you know you need to work on that relationship. You are causing yourself unnecessary pain and disconnection. I would love to teach you the tools to feel less pain.
If you want to feel love and connection to the people in your life that is available to you. I can teach you tools that regardless of other people's choices you can learn to love them unconditionally. You think that will be a gift you give to others but you soon learn it is the best gift you can give to yourself!
I would love to continue the conversation on how to create unconditional love in your life. Book a call with me and learn how this amazing feeling is completely available to you.