I read a study that reported a girls' self-esteem peak at 9 years old and then does a drastic nosedive.
It also reported that only 2% of women think they are beautiful.
I refuse to accept that nine was the peak of my feeling good about myself.
I have five daughters and this is my baby, 10-year old Kate. I can't believe that last year is the best she will ever feel about herself.
It isn't just women who struggle with their self-esteem, the study also reported that 85% of all American's struggle with low self-esteem.
The report stated that people with high self-esteem make an average of more than $28k a year over their low self-esteem counterparts. Over the 40 years, that most of us will work, that amount will equal up to over a $1 million dollar.
These statistics blow me away. That is a lot of money you are leaving on the table if you are struggling with low self-esteem.
If these statistics are even close to being accurate, we have a lot of work to do.
But there is good news. Self-esteem/Self-confidence is completely created by our thoughts.
How we think about ourselves is what creates how we feel about ourselves.
Not how much we weigh, or how much money we make, or what degree we earned.
Our thoughts, pure and simple.
If that is the case, this should be an easy fix. Just stop talking negatively to yourself.
But if it is that simple, why is it so hard for people to feel good about themselves?
Because of our tricky brains.
Our brains are programmed to look for the negative. They think they are protecting us by looking for worry, doubt, and danger. This was all fine and dandy when we had to hunt for our own food. But our society has changed a lot.
You beginning to see the problem? When you combine how our brains function and today's media messages you begin to see how reprogramming our thinking can be challenging.
But you know what the other good news is, how you think about yourself is a choice.
You get to decide how you want to think about yourself. Not your husband, your mother, or your sister, you. It is completely your responsibility to create your own thoughts about yourself.
Some of us are so committed to our current identity that we have convinced ourselves that there isn't a choice for how we think about ourselves.
But that is a false belief. It takes some work, but low self-esteem is not irreversible.
The first step is to figure out what you are thinking and to examine your painful beliefs. That takes courage and vulnerability.
Like any hard job, the key is to have the right tools. Getting the right tools to help you daily to think purposefully.
This will be the most important work of your lifetime. Cleaning up how you think about yourself will open up doors and opportunities that right now you are only dreaming about.
Once you have an amazing relationship with yourself, there is no limit to what you can achieve.
Today, I am drawing the line in the sand. I refuse for myself or my girls to be a mental health epidemic statistic.
I am 49, according to the study 40 years over my prime.
But you know what, I am happy to report I am beating the odds. I can honestly say learning the right tools has given me an amazing relationship with myself.
I challenge you to take some time and examine your thoughts about yourself. If the healthiest relationship in your life isn't with yourself, then you have some work to do.
If you would like to find out about some of these tools to help with your journey, book an introductory session with me. I'm not exaggerating when I say that these tools are life-changing.