Updated: Jul 10, 2020
I have found a common denominator in the people I like to be around. They own their crazy.
What does owning your crazy mean? It means you know you aren't perfect but you don't try to hide it. You have embraced your good, your bad, and ugly and you still show up as authentically you to the world as your imperfect self.
We all have our own unique crazy. That is what makes us different and interesting.
Because our brains are programmed to confirm and join the tribe we sometimes let go of what makes us unique so that we will be accepted by others. When we focus more on the acceptance of others we usually turn into a version of ourselves that we don't even like.
In the spirit of being authentic to the world here is a small list of "my crazy":
I only like the top layer of the ice cream carton, after that's gone I won't eat it.
I love to be around a lot of people (remember I grew up with 9 siblings) but I need a lot of alone time to counter that time.
Every time the phone rings and my kids are driving I would swear they got in an accident.
I have a treat drawer by my bed (I blame this one on my parents, they had one and so do all my sisters, our husbands thinks it's nuts).
When I enter a room I can't help but redecorate it in my mind.
I always take food to go and rarely eat it.
I have an obsession with cardigans - all weights, colors, and lengths.
If I can't sleep I lay in bed and do math equations.
My perfect day is getting up early, having a long nap, and staying up late, I like being the early bird and the night owl.
I am a crazy fast (haven't got a ticket in 30 years) driver and feel it a personal defeat if I can't beat the Waze predicted trip time.
Once we start accepting our unique preferences (or craziness) then it becomes a lot easier to accept other people's unique preferences.
As William Shakespeare famously wrote, “Nothing is either good or bad but thinking makes it so.”
There are no rules for our own individual preferences but sometimes we act like there are and we make our differences mean something negative about ourselves.
The key to owning your crazy is to see what you make your preferences mean about yourself. For example, I make my anxiety over my kids' driving doesn't mean I don't trust them, I just that I really like them and want them safe. My love for treats is part of how I feel connected to my parents.
Knowing yourself, the good, the bad and the ugly and not judging yourself is showing up in the world as an unfiltered version of yourself. Being comfortable in your own skin is when you have the ability to share your unique gifts with the world.
Here are three things you can do to get more comfortable in your skin and to learn to love your "own crazy".
Know your needs. You have to invest in yourself and find out what you need. When you know what you need it is a lot easier to feel good about yourself. I have a list of 3 things that I need to do daily so that I am my best self. It's not my husband's job to make sure this happens, it is mine. Knowing yourself well enough to know what makes you happy and having the courage to make it a priority is actually a gift to the people that you love. You are taking care of yourself so they won't have to.
Embrace Your Uniqueness: For all my fellow room redesigners I see you! When you feel like you have to apologize for something that is unique to you — you start to feel embarrassed and apologetic for who you are. Don't let other people put you down for the things that make you unique. If we all were the same, the world would be a pretty dull place. So redecorate away!
Be OK being alone: In order to be comfortable with yourself, you have to be ok just being. Learning to be alone for a meal, a night, a weekend, gives you time to hear your thoughts. Learning to listen to yourself without distractions like Netflix or others can teach you how to connect with yourself. I have learned that when I exercise it is a great time for connecting with myself. For some of the time, I don't listen to my earbuds and I just hear myself think. Being in nature also seems to accelerate my ability to connect with myself. These are the times that my insecurities and worries surface and I can begin to question those thoughts and explore those thoughts and feelings.