Love Lessons I learned when I became an LGBTQ Mama

Do you remember that feeling when you first put on prescription glasses? How you immediately saw things differently. How you hadn't even realized how much you were missing.

I remember noticing that the leaves on the trees had different shapes and how beautiful they were.

My vision is so impaired that I could be considered legally blind. My eye doctor recently informed me of this fact. But because my vision is correctable I’m not technically legally blind.

Everyday I feel gratitude when I put in my contacts. They immediately change how I experience life. They correct my eyes. In an instant, I go from blurriness to clear vision. They give me the ability to see things for how they really are.

This is what it is like for parents of an LGBTQ child. When your child comes out your whole life changes in an instant.

Before my son came out I thought I knew how to love. I thought I loved others unconditionally. I was wrong. I didn’t even know how many blind spots I had until I became an LGBTQ mama.

When my son came out I wish I could tell you that the overall emotion I felt was love – it wasn’t – I had a lot of blind spots that needed to be corrected.

These blind spots caused me to feel a lot of negative emotions. A lot of hurt, fear and anger. None of these feelings felt anything close to how love feels.

These blind spots were coming from thoughts like: This is unfair. Something has gone wrong. This won’t end well. This is not how life should be. Why is this happening?

With my son coming out, the Lord had brought me into the classroom of learning how to correct my vision. I was going to learn what my personal blind spots. Until I faced these blind spots, I wouldn’t be able to love my son how he deserved to be loved - unconditionally.

Blind spots can be our thoughts, judgments and perceptions about others and ourselves.

It took me some time, but with the Lord's help I begun to conquer my blind spots. I learned to love in a way that wasn’t transactional.

I realized that in the past my ability to love others was more based on what they had done for me (the family I grew up in). My ability to love was how the other person made me feel (my husband). My ability to love was how someone received my love (raising my children).

I had to learn how to conquer my judgments about others and myself. I learned how to be more trusting of God’s love and plan.

These lessons have changed my life. They have been as dramatic to my heart as contacts have been for my vision. I see things clearer. I see what is important. I see what matters.