We all have beliefs that we think are non-negotiable truths.
One of mine was happy families have dinner together every night.
This is how I grew up and so I thought to be a good mom I needed to make sure this was happening.
The ideal would be to have dinner promptly at six when the entire family would be home. Everybody would love what I cooked. Nobody is fighting or grumpy. Dinner would be the best hour of our day.
The reality was my husband was rarely home by six o'clock. My kids came home from school and wanted to eat right away, so at dinnertime, they were not even hungry and most nights they had to be out the door by six.
Trying to have the ideal family dinner time was becoming increasingly painful and I was making it mean I wasn't being a good mother.
I realized that I was dreading dinnertime every night. I was grumpy most nights because the ideal and the reality were becoming farther and farther apart.
Then I learned the skill to question everything.
I realized I had the power to change this. That it was ok for our family to make different decisions than the family I grew up with.
Once I let go of what I thought was perfection is when I found our family's perfection.
I let go of the "shoulds" and I made decisions that made more sense for my family. The result was a happier mom, which of course made for a happier dad and kids.
Now when we all sit down for a meal together, it is a delight and a treat. We all love it. We prolong the time together, Some of the best memories we have made are when we have had been able to have family dinner.
Learning to question everything, especially the "shoulds" in our lives, will open up new doors and give you the opportunity to show up in your life exactly how you want to.
You drop resentment and guilt and welcome gratitude and love. You live a life with intention.
Life is too short to do things for the wrong motivation. It creates feelings that usually result in you showing up in life not how you want to.
This week's challenge is to question your life. See what's not working. What is causing you pain? I guarantee you, that your brain has the answer on how to make it not just better, but perfect for you.
If you need help examining some pain points in your life and coming up with better solutions, book an introductory call with me. Learn the skills on how to create the life you want, with the beliefs you want to keep.