“You can be the juiciest peach in the world, but there’s always going to be someone who doesn’t like peaches.” -Dita Von Teese
Peaches are my favorite fruit, but my best friend hates peaches.
That has never been a problem, I still love her even though she has poor taste in fruit 😊.
But in the past, when I found out someone didn't like me I made it a problem.
A problem about me.
My mind spun. Why don't they like me? How could they not like me? What did I do? What is wrong with me?
I started showing up as a different person. I started trying to be something that I'm not. I tried to control how they thought about me.
This never ended well for me. I spent so much time trying to make them happy with me, that I became miserable with myself.
I was spending so much time trying to control what other people thought of me. Worried about what they might think.
The result of this was I became surrounded by people that weren't "my people".
I finally realized, their opinion is none of my business. I had absolutely no control over it. I realized that my opinion of myself was my only business.
This changed my life.
I realized, why worry about it? The only thing I have control over was my thoughts about their opinion.
No matter how much I was pretending to be something I thought they might like, I ultimately realized that they were still going to think what they're going to think.
When we try so hard to control what people think of us by acting a certain way, we don’t even show up as ourselves.
We show up as some version of ourselves that isn’t even us.
Guess what happened when I decided to show up as myself?
I started embracing the things I loved and stopped pretending or acting. I became proud of who I was and begun to love who I was just as I was.
I met new people with the thought, "If you like me, great. If not, no harm done. "
"I might not be your favorite fruit, that’s all. I get it. I’m a peach, and you don’t like peaches. It's not the peach’s fault."
When we show up as ourselves, as the best peach we can be, peach lovers can easily spot us, and the connection is genuine and real.
My life started being filled with people I not just liked, but truly loved.
I was fine with the peach haters to just move along. They weren’t my people anyway.
Finding the skill to give others permission in my mind to not like me was a game-changer. It’s a reminder that, oh, yeah, it’s okay. They don’t like peaches. It’s nothing personal.
Once you learn this skill you will gain the confidence to take risk and it will catapult you to a whole new level of growth.