Do you know what happened when I dropped the need for my kids to view me as the perfect mom?
I became the mom they actually needed.
Last week I had a conversation with one of my children that surprised me but was a perfect example of what I'm talking about.
We were talking about an incident in their life and my child's version of how I showed up as their mom was very different from how I had viewed myself.
It hurt to hear and I saw myself going to my old way of thinking.
At first, I found my brain going to "they are completely wrong." and I started to look for all the reasons why they were wrong.
I was in defense mode.
Because of all the work I have done on becoming aware of how my brain works, I was able to interrupt those old patterns, This was amazing because I have never found defensiveness to be productive in any conversation.
I wasn't able to direct my brain to agree with my child but I could get my brain to start asking itself questions. It was way more helpful for me to think, "I wonder why they think that?"
Once I had that thought then I was able to let go of my defense and just listen. I was able to sit there and meet my child where they where at.
I stopped using my brain energy to find the reasons why they were wrong. I let go of my need to be right and I gained the space to see why my child was hurting.
This was an amazing experience. It was so powerful to be in complete control of my thinking to create the results I wanted.
These tools gave me the ability to show up exactly like the mom I want to be; loving, forgiving a soft place to land, and totally imperfect.
The result was that the conversation ended pretty fantastic, it brought me and my child closer. I was able to show them the love they needed.
Being able to love my own imperfections actually gives me more capacity to love others. Accepting that I am not going to do things perfectly gives me the ability to do things better.
It lets me show up as the mom I am right now, a human being who is working on becoming a better version of myself.
The more grace I have for myself gives me an increased capability to give others grace when they don't do things perfectly.
This experience has taught me that these tools are not just a gamechanger for all relationships but they make every day a lot more meaningful and fun.
And who doesn't want their life to become more fun?
Conflict with others isn't going away, but your ability to make conflict work to make your relationships better is completely available. Anyone can learn these tools. Isn't it time to invest in stronger relationships? Book a call and start creating better results in your life.